Characteristics of a player dating
Or even worse, you start dating a player and are fine with a no-strings-attached relationship at first, only to find that your feelings grow and all of a sudden you want a movie night with Mr. What girl wouldn’t want a handsome and athletic guy that gives eye contact and makes you drool?Players have high levels of testosterone, which women have proven again and again that they are attracted to.
I think this is a power trip thing, or else just basic inconsiderate behavior, or else a ploy to get you feeling insecure and jumpy and greedy for any kind of communication from him. As Susan puts it, "Even if it's charming and he couches it in terms of wanting you really badly, it's still pressure. A man who wants something real with you will respect your decision about timing." Totally. Does any one of these rules, by itself, signal a player? Certainly, I think chances are very high that any guy who is being overly persistent about sex is most likely a douchebag, no matter how incredibly into you he seems — and I speak from unhappy experience. As for the stuff about texting: If he's doing any — or all three of those things — and you're not sure where you stand with him, or something seems not quite right, I'd be on guard. You might want to say something like, "Texting can be so distracting — I'd really prefer if you e-mailed me or called me to make plans." Or else say, "Look, considering I don't know you very well, I'd prefer to make plans in advance. The art of the player has been glorified to such the extent in our consumer society that seemingly every young male dreams not of true love and a family someday, but rather how many women he can pick up in one night (or day).
Players are good-looking, charming, fun to be around and can be quite entertaining to date- if a no-strings, no-future relationship is what you truly want.
The problem arises when girls don’t know they are dating a player. Be careful, because many of the attributes of the player are hyped-up male characteristics that most women are attracted to, such as those common in Alpha Males.
Yesterday, I blogged about the advice my male friends have for interpreting a guy's mixed signals. Now, I think it's obvious when someone texts you at midnight, asking what you're up to, that he's just looking for sex.
Today, as a follow-up, I want to talk today about another writer-lady's very smart advice on how to determine whether or not a guy is a player. But players will also send more innocent-seeming texts, saying stuff like, "Hey — spontaneous invite — wanna grab dinner tonight? I'm free tonight but will probably have to work late through the weekend. " While this kind of informality might come off as charming or enthusiastic, I think you should never agree to a last-minute plan unless you've already been on multiple dates with a guy — or unless you feel confident that he is pretty into you. It will make you uncomfortable or it will seem like a deviation from his typical behavior or both.
Susan Walsh writes the blog Hooking Up Smart, which I came across when she mentioned one of my columns in a post of hers. As Susan points out, players will often send a lot of basically meaningless "sweet" texts, along the lines of, "How was your day? Whatever you do, if you agree to a last-minute plan, also agree to go home with him! While we're on the topic of cellular communication, I will add: 3. It's different from the feeling of excitement and enthusiasm two people will feel when there's mutual attraction mutual respect. Players will not respond well if you voice hesitations about having sex.
In it, she made a number of smart points about players — and I'm summarizing the good stuff for you here. " and "Hey, just thought I'd say I'm thinking about you" and "Sleep tight." While this kind of thing is fine once you've established true intimacy with someone, if a dude is pulling this kind of BS before you've had four or five dates , chances are pretty good he's full of shit. Players text a ton one day — and then days and days go by with nothing. They will try to talk you into it instead of being cool with your desire to wait.